What the hell has happened to the news?

Maybe I'm just old school and still like reading newspapers rather than staring at a computer screen until my eyes bleed, but where the hell is the important news?

HEADLINE: ANNA NICOLE SMITH DIES!!! Oh yeah and a bunch of U.S. troops were killed also, but back to the Anna Nicole story. Are you kidding me? Who gives a sh*t? Is a person remembered for being naked and a gold digger really a month long news story? It's almost relieving that Imus said something derogatory to take her place in the non-news news story of the week.

And about what Imus said, sure it was wrong, but that's what him and his kind do - they try to shock the audience. It's not like his show was considered a viable news program (although I'm not sure viable news programs are viable news programs anymore). Anne Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and Opie and Anthony have all said worse things on their shows and they're still blabbing away. Oh wait, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton needed some air time so they went for the jugular on Imus. And for what? He'll have a new show in a few months as soon as the public forgets about it and are transfixed by the next big story.

ANGELINA JOLIE BEATEN BY BRAD PITT or K-FED BUSTED FOR DRUG POSSESSION. You know, another story more important than global warming, genocide in Africa, Iraq, Afghanistan, rising tensions in the Middle East, our enormous trade deficit, or a receding economy. Who wants to hear about all that boring stuff.

And these damned news channels need to do something about it. Start with taking Lou Dobbs and Nancy Grace off the air. Dobbs' nightly immigration spiel is getting old and Nancy Grace probably made a woman kill herself when she all, but accused her of killing her own child. They are not giving us the news... they are corrupting America.

Another one I could do without is Anne Coulter who is a retarded person who wants to get gangbanged by the Bush administration for her birthday present. She make no sense and she just says all these crazy things to sell her books to more retarded people. According to Dante she will one day have a nice home in the 8th Circle of Hell.

Please bring the news back! If I have to hear one more thing about Phil Spector, Paris Hilton, or, as I saw on MSNBC yesterday, 30 minutes of an aerial view of a horse stuck in mud in Texas... and no I did not make that last one up.